Perhaps you’re feeling like a broken record, yet you never feel understood by your partner. Maybe you’re walking on eggshells trying to avoid starting the next argument. Possibly, the pain of your spouse’s infidelity is making you doubt if you can ever get close again. Once a source of connection, fun, and intimacy, your sexual relationship is non-existent. As a husband and a father, I understand well the challenges of maintaining intimacy in a a long-term relationship. I am sensitive to difference (especially race, culture, and sexuality), how it affects your partnership, and the therapeutic working relationship. I offer my expertise, integrity, life experience, and humor.Together, we will work towards understanding, closeness, and affection in your relationship.
Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples
The message of EFT is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and admit that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection. EFT focuses on creating and strengthening this emotional bond by identifying and transforming the key moments that foster an adult loving relationship.
Healthy Attachment
We rely on our partners for comfort and support. This is healthy attachment, and it helps us be stronger and bolder in the world. It means we need our partner to be accessible, responsive, and engaged. The relationship dance is positive, and the partners are in sync with each other.
Relationship Distress
When the secure emotional connection is lost, a negative cycle develops. Partners coping with a loss of connection often respond with anger, criticism, distancing, silence, or relationship distractions. The bonds of trust and security are frayed, and the partners fall into the negative dance.
Changing the Dance
In our work together, we will identify and map out the cycle, then help each partner identify and articulate their needs from a more vulnerable place. This promotes greater compassion and empathy from the other, creates a more secure connection, and a more loving relationship dance.